I <3 USA #3

Can you box it please?

This is probably more a failing of Britain than a success of America as it happens in most other countries around the world too, but I'll let you have it. Lets claim it was invented in America.

Americans are just doing the logical thing. It's us Brits who have the problem.

I have paid for this food and I intend to consume it, either at my convenience or at yours.

It's not so illogical a stance. In America, it's commonplace, the norm. It's even offered. "Do you want me to box this for you, sir?"

In the UK, occasionally - very occasionally - a person might apologetically ask for doggy bag.

The implication of course being that no, I'm not going to eat this myself. Of course not. Don't be preposterous. But my dog is a loved and well cared for animal, so I would like to share a small part of this meal with it. Eat it myself? The very thought.

So Hurrah for the restaurant's carrying a stack of boxes because they expect this, and Hurrah for breakfast being taken care of.

Whining Little Brit #3

Coffee.

It's meant to have a flavour, you know?

It's meant to taste like you've taken some coffee beans, roasted them, ground them and slowly infused them with hot (but not boiling) water.

The brown colour of the water is a side effect, not the intended goal. So a cup of hot brown water with no real taste or caffeine content is not what I'm after.

(Hint for international travellers - ask for French or Continental Coffee and you'll get something that might satisfy what you have suddenly discovered to be a crippling caffeine addiction)

Star Gazing - The Griffiths Observatory And My First LA Celebrity Encounter

Day 3 part 2.

The evening.

We're skipping the afternoon because nothing really happened except me complaining how hot it was.

Actually, no - a little note on that.

It was hot. And I wasn't dealing with it well. I had a moment - just a moment - when I nearly cracked. As I was walking up North Wilton on my way back from the cemetery I was thinking something along the lines of:

"My god! How do you people stand this? How do you carry out your business in this heat? How do you cope?"

But I refrained from barking these questions at passers-by and went instead to get an iced tea.

Anyway, back to the evening. As the heat died down my sister and I headed out of the city and up to Griffiths Observatory.

This is the observatory here:



Look, see:




There you go - I wasn't lying after all. Although you probably didn't think I was.

So credentials proved, if nothing else the observatory grounds are a good place to go a-wandering following a hot, hot day. Provided you don't try to walk up. It's an observatory - they don't put them at the bottom of valleys.

A little bit of science, for those who are interested. There are a number of observatories in the LA region including Mount Wilson, significant because of the... Well, I found the link for you, you are more than capable of clicking it - go learn something. It's good for you. Learn about the unique weather conditions that make this part of SoCal so good for astronomy and at the same time so bad for breathing.

At the Griffiths Observatory they are so happy about these conditions that they celebrate this with a giant Science Phallus.



Those are scientists standing around the bottom, keeping it up. Galileo, Copernicus and Newton amongst them.


If you are visiting, before you get involved with lenses and refraction and eyepieces and all that stuff you've got to take in the views.

On my first full day I took a photo of the Hollywood sign from the top of a Home Depot car park. My sister reckoned it was the best view, and it was not bad.

Then I saw a good angle on it from the bottom of Van Ness where the Easter Island heads were.

At some point I realised that it's visible from a lot of parts of Hollywood. Which makes sense - it was originally a big advert and as such the advertisers would really want it pretty visible.

But the best view of it I saw was from the top of Griffiths Park by the observatory.



There's also pretty good views of the cityscape




The city is to the west of the observatory. To the north, the east and the south are the mountains. This was about as close as I got to them but they looked beautiful. This was one of the areas that was ravaged by fires a couple of years ago, so the slopes are a little bare now, but the scrub is growing back.



At this point though I'd just like to make the following observation. The mountains around Los Angeles look startlingly like Korea. That is unless TV lied to me. And it's inconceivable that M*A*S*H would be a lie.

OK. That off my chest, back to the observatory. Keen eyed cineastes may recognise the observatory from the first photo. Some may even go so far as to spot that it featured as a significant location in several pivotal scenes in Rebel Without A Cause (amongst others - can anyone name the Star Trek episode filmed here?).

If you don't recognise it from that film then you probably haven't seen it.

Go rent it now and come back when you've watched it.

Go. Don't worry. We'll wait.



Back? Good, wasn't it.

Now you've seen how heavily it featured in the film you'll understand part of the reason why I was keen to get up here, and also why I was surprised that there seemed to be no mention of it around the observatory or it's grounds.

Near Cafe At The End Of The Universe (it's what they call it) we found this bust. It wasn't exactly tucked away and it wasn't exactly sign posted, but with the help of directions from a tour guide I found it just before we left.



I promise you that it was the flash that made it look like that. In real life it's nowhere near as terrifying. And it looks a lot like James Dean. No. Really. It does.

There's no photography within the observatory building, so I have none of them. What they do have is a planetarium. Yes, the same one in RWAC. But renovated since then (as has the whole site - it was apparently closed for years and left to rot).

After all the walking I did this day and the heat, the planetarium was worth the $7 alone to sit down on a soft reclining seat in a dark, air conditioned room.

But in all honesty I'd say that if you don't need that kind of rest, then don't bother. It's not that good. The CGI would have been impressive around 10 years ago and the grinning man with the glowing balls who mimes to the recorded narration is frankly creepy.

Elsewhere there is an example of Foucault's Pendulum. There are various displays that explain the history of star gazing as well. I think though the highlight of the inside was the live sun exhibit. Well, the highlight not the exhibit so much as the helpful sign pointing out that the sun's rays would not be visible on cloudy days or at night. Thanks.


Now we barrel forward to conclude the promise of the title. I've given you an observatory and so I owe you a celebrity. Those who are still paying attention to the word may have noticed that I avoided the use of the word "big". For that would have been a lie.

On the roof of the observatory signs pointed to a telescope. I followed the signs but found instead they lead to Justin Lee Collins.

Who?

Justin Lee Collins.



Residents of the UK may know him as presenter of The Friday Night Project and the occasional Bring Back...x. A programme where he tries to reunite the cast of long finished TV series or films. Often with limited success. His last project was Bring Back... Star Wars. Now I'm not saying that Danny Baker wasn't a big part of the cast, but he was pretty much the only one who said yes.

JLC was in LA filming another one of these. This time for Star Trek. He was doing a segment to introduce his search for Nimoy.

Which was not how he put it. Would have been better than how he did.

Anyway, you heard it here first. And possibly last as well.


Once the sun had set over LA it was time to go eat at The Electric Lotus. I'm told that it's not as good as once it was, so it must have been pretty special because it was still great.

And that brought the day to a close.

Next time, about as wide a dichotomy between high and low culture as it's possible to do in one day without going to a titty bar.

I <3 USA #2

Iced Tea.

Although it has to be acknowledged that iced tea is something that was exported from England to the US in the early 1800s and Liptons is an English company, you really have done great things with it.

From making sure that it is in almost every fridge in every convenience store and supermarket to making it available in 32oz* cans.

When it's this hot (oh it has been hot) then it's just the best thing.

*For none US residents this equals a lot. Pint and two thirds or nearly a litre. A lot.

Whining Little Brit #2

Toilet paper. Let's just talk about that for a moment.

2 ply is not a luxury, it's the bare minimum.

Probably if you got that one sorted out the whole country would be less uptight, gun crime would drop, everyone would be happier.

When I'm In A New Town I Like To Go Hang Out Where The Dead Folk Are

Day 3, part one. In the morning I set off on a stroll to:



Easter Island....



Or more likely I walked past a props warehouse that had popped these props outside for a while.

This was on the way down to Hollywood Forever, a cemetery right in the heart of Hollywood. How much in the heart of Hollywood you ask?

Well if you wander towards the back wall,this is what you'll see.





Yep, the Paramount Studio lot. While I was there they were filming something involving a lot of shooting, and the sound of the volleys obviously carried.

At first I though it was a 21 Gun Salute, but those are normally more ordered and less random.

Onto the main part of the cemetery. Large chunks of it are brightly lit crypts, like this one:



At intervals there are seating areas, which one presumes are places for the dead to hang out, chat and catch up on things.



In some of the cooler crypts they even have a little piano for recitals, cocktails, that sort of thing.



Not a bad way to spend eternity, I guess.

Elsewhere in the cemetery is the Fairbanks Memorial Gardens. This is where the dead celebs hang out.

Gabba Gabba Hey





This one is the monument to both Douglas Fairbankses, Sr & Jr.

It's kind of algaed up if you get up close, but I shouldn't really criticise as it is grander than anything that will be erected to the memory of my passing.



I think perhaps the modesty of Fay Wray's memorial stone touched me more. There is also a bench and a tree close by.



Of course, when I go I want something a little more, well, a little more showy. Something like this, perhaps. Sitting there, master of my domain:



Except I think I'd maybe want it more life-like.

And perhaps with animatronics.

I've already been beaten to the world's first LOLTomb.




Cecil B DeMille is on the right.



And this is a close up.


(Yes, of course that gag would have worked better had it been Gloria Swanson's tomb, but we're working with what we've got here).


At the centre of this park is a lake, replete with ducks, swans, a warning sign about how aggressive mating birds can be and this monument to William C Clark.



Finally, as I was leaving I passed this and shed a tear:



I hope that reports of their death are exaggerated.



This is the first of a two parter. The next part will come soon.